Y5 Y6 Spelling Words: A Story!

August 31, 2019


Whilst seeking out some accommodation one day, I decided to accompany my colleague to a flat. According to her version of events, I tried to achieve the impossible and got quite aggressive with a troupe of amateur actors who were performing an ancient Greek play in the High Street. I apparently did not appreciate their performance and attached a sign next to their stage on the nearest available lamppost. It was not the average encounter that one would have with amateur actors in a high street. It was actually quite awkward! When I got to the flat (finally), I realised that I had a bargain that wouldn’t bruise my wallet! The category of this flat was probably somewhere between cemetery and committee room, but who cares at that price (although I must communicate with my lovely community of friends that I am all too aware that it’s not a competition). I don’t have a conscience about paying so little money, but I am conscious that the controversy on the High Street (with the actors) might inconvenience me in the future as it does not correspond with my usual behaviour –behaviour that no one normally criticises. There might be curiosity as to why I was like this with these poor thespians. I am definitely convinced that someone was desperately determined to develop a dictionary of disastrous and embarrassing moments in my life, in particular in the high street environment, so that they might be equipped with an especially exaggerated text with which to ruin my otherwise excellent existence. One explanation for these events might be that the unfamiliar sight of actors on a street normally filled with buggies and shopping trollies was quite foreign to me, especially as this group was at least forty strong. I am one of those people who frequently asks the government to guarantee that shoppers and members of the public, such as myself, are not harassed by street performers etc. so that we can go about our lives without hindrance. I clearly felt that my very identity had been threatened and immediately I started to shout abuse at these unfortunate individuals and interfere with (if not interrupt) their performance. I know that my language was a little rude, but I never act in a leisurely fashion when something like this irks me. As quick as a flash (of lightning), I realised that this was a marvellous chance to be a bit mischievous by flexing my vocal muscles unnecessarily at my poor neighbours. I guess I was a nuisance –but these guys were occupying a well-loved patch of pavement (outside the post office and next to the bank) and it occurred to me that this opportunity to take a stand on this vital topic might be one to get the attention of Parliament and persuade them that physical obstructions (actors) might prejudice the free flow of pedestrians down the street, a privilege that needs to be upheld. I don’t care whether some of them were semi-professional, whether they had a challenging programme of plays, whether they had eloquent pronunciation etc. My point is that the queue for the cash machine had been obstructed!! People need to recognise when there is an issue. My recommendation is that Greek tragedy is irrelevant these days. I am perfectly happy going to a Greek restaurant to soak up Greek culture. I don’t need these stupid rhymes and poetic rhythms shoved down my throat when I’m out shopping. This was an unnecessary sacrifice for me, and for my accompanying secretary: we should not have had to shoulder this burden of listening to signature performances from ‘sincere’ amateur and semi-professional actors dressed (poorly) as Greek soldiers, stomachs shielded with plastic breastplates, as we went around our lawful business. Furthermore, their clothing was insufficient, I would suggest, for this time of year. Something more symbolic would have been better- or some sort of system where they don’t have to wear little togas and the like. The low temperature, I am sure, would have given some of them a thorough chill after they went through the twelfth verse of some Homer epic. The assorted variety of vegetables that I had lined up ready to throw at them was an adequate vehicle for my rage.
Overall it was a great day –YACHT!! (Sorry –NOT!!)

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